I specialize in sensory processing, but I talk about regulation a lot. Here’s why: Sense processing and regulation are closely connected. In fact, information about our regulation and our regulatory status depends on sensory processing.
Sensory processing is our nervous system’s ability to register information from our bodies and environment, integrate it, and generate an adaptive response. It is the foundation for how we move, focus, plan, participate, and connect.
When a child struggles with regulation—whether in friendships, at school, or during transitions—what we are often seeing is not a behavior problem. We are seeing a nervous system displaying stress.
As an OT who specializes in sensory processing, my curiosity gets piqued. I wonder, “Why is this happening right now? What is contributing to it? What might be underneath it?”
Very often, underneath attention concerns, rigidity, emotional outbursts, or social challenges is inefficiency in how sensory information is being processed and integrated.
Let me give you an example.
I recently worked with a child who was struggling socially at school. At recess, this child insisted on being in charge. The adults described the behavior as bossy. Peers were beginning to pull away.
But during a global developmental assessment, something became clear: this child had significant difficulty with motor planning.
Motor planning is the ability to have an idea, plan, sequence, and execute novel actions. It is a mind-body process that relies heavily on sensory processing and integration.
This child had wonderful ideas. Creative ideas. Leadership energy. But implementing those ideas required enormous effort. Sequencing the movements, adapting to moving peers, adjusting to shifting rules, coordinating with other bodies… all of it overloads his system.
When your nervous system is working that hard just to execute your own plan, adding unpredictable peers and social demands becomes overwhelming.
Control became a compensation strategy.
Not because this child wanted power.
But because his nervous system was trying to reduce complexity.
This is the link between sensory processing and regulation.
Efficient sensory processing supports adaptive responses. Adaptive responses support engagement.
Regulation is having all the resources (skills, strategies) needed to meet the demands of my internal and external environments at that moment. When we are regulated, our best skills are available to us.
When sensory processing is inefficient, the nervous system is stressed, and this shows up as dysregulation.
On the playground, playing games with peers is an important social participation activity. The child in the story has underlying sensory processing challenges that cause him to become stressed. When stressed, his emotional flexibility narrows. He becomes bossy.
In the framework (STAR frame of reference) I use in practice,
- Regulation is foundational.
- Sensory processing and integration organize development.
- Relationship drives development.
We prioritize helping the nervous system feel safe and regulated. We use relationship (co-regulation, attunement, therapeutic presence) to connect and promote safety. And then we use sensory-rich, child-led experiences to strengthen processing and integration (Schoen et al., 2017).
When these three elements work together, behavior shifts. Not because it was controlled or because compliance was demanded – but because the child has what they need to participate adaptively.
This is hopeful work.
Because it means when a child is struggling, we are not looking at defiance or character flaws. We are looking at stress.
And sources of stress can be identified. Stress can be reduced.
When we build sensory efficiency and motor planning within safe relationships, regulation becomes less effortful.
And when regulation becomes accessible, children show us what they have been capable of all along.
The invitation is this: the next time you see rigidity, big emotion, or control—pause and ask what the nervous system might be protecting against.
Curiosity changes everything.
Reflection Prompt:
When I see a child becoming rigid, emotional, or controlling, what might their nervous system be working hard to manage—and how could I respond in a way that reduces stress rather than increases it?
References:
Schoen, S. A., Miller, L. J., & Spielmann, V. (2018). The STAR frame of reference: Sensory-based interventions for children and adolescents. PRO-ED.
Shanker, S. (2017). Self-reg: How to help your child (and you) break the stress cycle and successfully engage with life. Penguin Books.